Sentence reduction does not mean reducing the length of a sentence. Reduction means putting the ideas from two or more sentences into one sentence in a way that shows which idea is more important.

1. Appositives explain, amplify, or clarify a noun that appears at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of a sentence. Appositives may be punctuated with commas, dashes, or colons.

Original: My sister invited me to spend a week with her. She is an architect in New York

Reduced: My sister, an architect in New York, invited me to spend a week with her.

Original: I didn't know the Cooper House was destroyed in the earthquake. It was a Santa Cruz landmark.

Reduced: I didn't know the Cooper House--a Santa Cruz landmark--was destroyed in the earthquake.

Original: Barbara grows many beautiful flowers in her garden. Those flowers are calendula, dahlia, columbine, hollyhock, alyssum, and sunflower.

Reduced: Barbara grows many beautiful flowers in her garden: calendula, dahlia, columbine, hollyhock, alyssum, and sunflower.

2. Participial Phrases can be used to reduce sentences only if the subject of both sentences is the same. Like appositives, participial phrases may appear anywhere in the sentence as long as they appear next to the person or thing they're describing. The participial is the verb form that ends in -ing.

Original: Juan vowed never to tell another lie. He apologized to his parents.

Reduced: Juan apologized to his parents, vowing never to tell another lie.

Reduced: Juan, apologizing to his parents, vowed never to tell another lie.

Original: We drove to Yosemite. We got a flat tire.

Reduced: Driving to Yosemite, we got a flat tire.

We cannot write "Driving to Yosemite, the dog jumped out the window," since grammatically we are saying the dog was driving to Yosemite, and he wasn't, was he?

3. Relative Clauses, sometimes called adjective clauses, are another method of reducing two sentences to one. Like adjectives, they modify a noun and must appear next to the noun they describe.

Original: Mark's cousin drove him to the airport. He works for United Airlines.

Reduced:Mark's cousin, who works for United Airlines, drove him to the airport.

Reduced:Mark's cousin, who drove him to the airport, works for United Airlines.

Original:Marjorie refused to play the lottery. It was supposed to provide funds for education.

Reduced:Marjorie refused to play the lottery that was supposed to provide funds for education.

Original:Ricardo hit a three-run homer. It put his team in the lead.

Reduced:Ricardo hit a three-run homer that put his team in the lead.

SENTENCE REDUCTION

NOTE: in relative clauses, "who" and "whom" are used to describe people; "which" refers to things; "that" may be used for either people or things.

NOTE: sentence reduction allows writers to have more variety in their writing and makes their writing more interesting.

Be careful not to overdo reduction as in the following sentence: The golden retriever, Molly, who refused to retrieve even small sticks and who hated the water, had a beautiful golden coat, which was least a small compensation to her owners, who were baffled by her behavior, which was so uncharacteristic of her breed.

 

EXERCISE

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Using appositives, reduce the following groups of sentences to one sentence.

1. Environmental issues are the subject of much controversy. Those issues are pollution, pesticides, destruction of the ozone layer, and the clearing of the rain forest.

2. Zora Neale Hurston wrote Their Eyes Were Watching God. It's the story of one woman's struggle for independence. Hurston was a Black woman writer of the Harlem Renaissance.

3. Zack practices his hobby in his backyard. His hobby is fencing. His yard is a 12' x 40' rectangle.

Complete the following sentences with relative clauses:

1. Hank, who outran the snarling dogs

2. The private investigator found the corpse that

3. We captured the man whose

4. Patrick witnessed the fire that

SENTENCE REDUCTION Rewrite the following passage, combining sentences and eliminating unnecessary repetitions. Use coordinating conjunctions, subordinating conjunctions or any of the patterns discussed in the section on reduction. We suggest you work out a rough draft first, trying various possibilities to achieve a smoother, shorter version. Remember, don't lose any important information.

I have an unusual hobby. It is long distance ocean racing. I swim in the Pacific Ocean off the Northern California coast. The water is cold and murky. It is green. My favorite race is long. The race covers almost six miles. It takes me about two and a half hours. It begins at the Capitola wharf. It ends at the Santa Cruz wharf. At the beginning of the race I am cold. Twenty minutes pass. I swim just beyond the surfers at "The Hook." Now I am not cold. I feel exuberant. I am relaxed. More time goes by. I pass the surfers at "The Point." This is where I turn towards Santa Cruz. I approach the harbor. I pass through small boats. The boats appear as grey silhouettes. Two hours have passed. I come to the end of the municipal wharf. I swim around it. I pass over a harem of sea lions. They undulate beneath me. I leave them. I swim towards shore. Now I am cold again. I land. I learn that my neighbor has beaten me by half an hour.

 

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