
Reducing Sentences
Diane Putnam, Writing Center Director
Eden White, LIA
Eden's Hours: Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday, 8 am to 4 pm; Tuesday 8 am to 3 pm
Sentence reduction does not mean reducing the length of a sentence. Reduction means putting the ideas from two or more sentences into one sentence in a way that shows which idea is more important.
1. Appositives explain, amplify, or clarify a noun that appears at the beginning, in the middle, or at the end of a sentence. Appositives may be punctuated with commas, dashes, or colons.
Original: My sister invited me to spend a week with her. She is an architect in New York
Reduced: My sister, an architect in New York, invited me to spend a week with her.
Original: I didn't know the Cooper House was destroyed in the earthquake. It was a Santa Cruz landmark.
Reduced: I didn't know the Cooper House--a Santa Cruz landmark--was destroyed in the earthquake.
Original: Barbara grows many beautiful flowers in her garden. Those flowers are calendula, dahlia, columbine, hollyhock, alyssum, and sunflower.
Reduced: Barbara grows many beautiful flowers in her garden: calendula, dahlia, columbine, hollyhock, alyssum, and sunflower.
2. Participial Phrases can be used to reduce sentences only if the subject of both sentences is the same. Like appositives, participial phrases may appear anywhere in the sentence as long as they appear next to the person or thing they're describing. The participial is the verb form that ends in -ing.
Original: Juan vowed never to tell another lie. He apologized to his parents.
Reduced: Juan apologized to his parents, vowing never to tell another lie.
Reduced: Juan, apologizing to his parents, vowed never to tell another lie.
Original: We drove to Yosemite. We got a flat tire.
Reduced: Driving to Yosemite, we got a flat tire.
We cannot write "Driving to Yosemite, the dog jumped out the window," since grammatically we are saying the dog was driving to Yosemite, and he wasn't, was he?
3. Relative Clauses, sometimes called adjective clauses, are another method of reducing two sentences to one. Like adjectives, they modify a noun and must appear next to the noun they describe.
Original: Mark's cousin drove him to the airport. He works for United Airlines.
Reduced:Mark's cousin, who works for United Airlines, drove him to the airport.
Reduced:Mark's cousin, who drove him to the airport, works for United Airlines.
Original:Marjorie refused to play the lottery. It was supposed to provide funds for education.
Reduced:Marjorie refused to play the lottery that was supposed to provide funds for education.
Original:Ricardo hit a three-run homer. It put his team in the lead.
Reduced:Ricardo hit a three-run homer that put his team in the lead.
SENTENCE REDUCTION
NOTE: in relative clauses, "who" and "whom" are used to describe people; "which" refers to things; "that" may be used for either people or things.
NOTE: sentence reduction allows writers to have more variety in their writing and makes their writing more interesting.
Be careful not to overdo reduction as in the following sentence: The golden retriever, Molly, who refused to retrieve even small sticks and who hated the water, had a beautiful golden coat, which was least a small compensation to her owners, who were baffled by her behavior, which was so uncharacteristic of her breed.